So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
