I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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