the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
