i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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