my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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