He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
