Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
