There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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