It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
