These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
