she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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