we have pet lesbian snakes
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
