You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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