it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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