You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
