You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
