hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
