Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
