She's JV to your varsity
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
