Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
