I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
