Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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