i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
