there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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