I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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