so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize