i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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