Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
