I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
