literally had 100 drinks last night.
Screwed.edu
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
