So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
