i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
do nipples grow back?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
