He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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