Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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