So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
