yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
