We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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