I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
