There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize