we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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