He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
