i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
