I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
