Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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