So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
