At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
