Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
