I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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