So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
