I'm gonna have a badass scar
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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