I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
