Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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