If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
