remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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