and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
