I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I currently don't understand fingers.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
