D3 body, D1 cock
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
