saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
