Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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