Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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