Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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